How will it all come out...

So I've thought a little bit tonight as I walked downtown. I was wondering about my adolescent experience during a summer spent in the inner city with children doing puppet shows, games and Bible lessons. Kids I encountered had names like Squeaky and MJ (short for Michael Jordan) and James (there was a family of at least 4 boys named James). They were different from me in so many ways. They were all black. Few of them had involved fathers. They rarely showered. Each child possessed a key to his or her house because Mom wouldn't come home until after dark. But, they were not all that different. Lanky and pubescent as I was, they would climb all over my body like I was an animated jungle gym. Eye to eye, we would have conversations as they climbed. "My favorite food is..." "I love to run fast..." "On hot days I like to drink..."

I cherish those memories of time spent with innocent children from such a sad space of Cincinnati inner-city. Tonight those memories were so strong as I walked down alley-ways alone. I was thinking about how since those days I have not made contact with those children or children like them. So an episode of nostalgia like none other is hitting me tonight, replete with its feelings of "those grand old days" and "it will never be the same."

And I have this horrible thought. What if I spend my whole life consumed with getting the last little detail of my house fixed. What if when I'm old I will have only a life of academic achievements to reflect on. What if I die without having poor black children feel like my little brothers or sisters. I can so clearly see myself letting my ambitions and my possessions lead me down that path swiftly. Life devoid of many rich charities in the blink of an eye.

Like I said, I have a serious case of nostalgia tonight. Probably it is skewing my thoughts just a little. But I can think of at least one small way that I'd like to choose a different path for myself. I'd like to give more of my time. Ridiculous amounts of time that I devout to my house could be shared on others around me who could benefit from my youth, companionship, skills and resources. God, grant me grace to live well.

A Fresh Start.

One years worth of blogging is now under my belt. My friends and I started out on an intellectual challenge to write something and get it published within the next 7 years. And so I began writing on the topic of pacifism; I persisted on that topic for exactly one year. Really, I lasted longer than I thought I would. Writing for a year on one topic is impressive for me. I suppose it is a tribute to the level of my interest in the topic. Unfortunately I am unable to finish my thoughts on the topic largely due to beginning graduate school for an altogether unrelated field--physical therapy.

Now I begin again on this new topic. My overall topical focus will be on treating pain in and from the spine. Additionally, though, my writing will include topics that range beyond the boundary of the spine. I will pursue answers to questions like these:

-How does the mind influence spinal pain?
-How is pain generate from the spinal structures?
-Why does back pain persist?
-What function do various muscles play in supporting the spine?
-What are the neurophysiological benefits of touch, joint manipulation and exercise?
-What are the mechanical benefits of touch, joint manipulation and exercise?

I hope to learn some very specific data about spinal pain and effective treatment options. But more than this I hope to build a foundation from which I can launch some ever more exciting questions such as:

-What is pain?
-What is perception?
-Is a basic level of consciousness prerequisite to perception?
-How is the body controlled by the mind?

If I can spend the next 20 years asking these questions I would be happy. In fact after that I would not be content to stop. After 20 years of asking scientific questions I would love to then draw on my experience to begin asking philosophical questions:

-How is human knowledge produced in the scientific community?
-What are the limits and constraints on human knowledge?
-Does theory ever perfectly match reality and if so how would we know?
-To what extent is correct knowledge a prerequisite for helpful application?
-To what degree can incorrect knowledge lead to beneficial treatment?